I've never been an advocate of new year's resolutions. In my opinion people shouldn't wait until a specific date to set new goals, and if they do then isn't tomorrow the perfect opportunity? Why wait to be kinder, thinner, stronger... etc? It's cliche'd but tomorrow really should be the first day of the rest of your life... the irony being that as I type this, it is actually new years eve.
I can however see how New Year's would be an optimal time to look back and reflect. What have I done this year? Have I changed, grown?
I found myself doing thing yesterday, and while yes... I think I have improved certain aspects of my life, does that really make me a better person than I was last year? If I slip and make mistakes this year, does that therefore mean I am a worse person? Of course not...
I'm proud of the achievements I've made, but I find it difficult categorizing them into neat little parceled boxes of time.
One of my favourite quotes is as below;
“When I was alive, I believed — as you do — that time was at least as real and solid as myself, and probably more so. I said 'one o'clock' as though I could see it, and 'Monday' as though I could find it on the map; and I let myself be hurried along from minute to minute, day to day, year to year, as though I were actually moving from one place to another. Like everyone else, I lived in a house bricked up with seconds and minutes, weekends and New Year's Days, and I never went outside until I died, because there was no other door. Now I know that I could have walked through the walls.” - Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn
Perhaps I will never 'walk through walls' but I'm of the belief that time is not as linear as our brains perceive it to be.
How could it be? When I remember events from when I was four, clearer than I can remember this morning? I've delved in memory posts before and my fascination extends beyond my current knowledge of the matter, however whether an individual believes in destiny, fate, religion or simple nothing except for what the eye can see... our perception of these principals make us individuals.
“I think therefore I am.” - Rene Descartes
At this point I feel I should mention that I failed philosophy dramatically. In fact one of the reasons I'm here writing this now is because my dislike for the course turned out to be the ultimate reason I quit university. My dislike for psychology stemmed from the fact that every lecture seemed to teach common sense rather than fascinating information. Had I stuck it out beyond the tediously boring lectures I probably would have reached a level I thoroughly enjoyed. But patience, unfortunately, is not one of my virtues.
So, back to why I decided to write this post. I believe in a varying level of karma (positivity breeds positivity more or less) and given my negativity surrounding this time of the year it's not really any wonder that it's never a smooth, seamless transition into the new year.
For example, just yesterday I fell down a .set of stairs and popped my kneecap out...
But, in the spirit of feeling positive in general -which I do- I am going to swallow my apprehension and celebrate tonight. If not for the past year, or for the year to come... then for all the things I'm grateful for. Because tomorrow may be the first day of the rest of my life but right here and now is pretty damn good as well :)
Happy New Year! xX